Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Lurker

It seems these days I get to enjoy lots of quality time in the bathroom. And some of this glorious leisure time is spent in public bathrooms, much to my dismay.
In an attempt to appease myself that I have to be stuck in a bathroom so much, I've taken to really enjoying the random snippets of conversations (or rather just interactions) I overhear while stuck in a stall.
I feel very voyeuristic in these moments. Since most the time I'm in there for a good half an hour or so, many people come and go and never even know I'm there (I'm very good at being very quiet). So just be aware...be mindful of what you say when you think noone's listening. It just may end up on a blog about some girls colon ;)
So now...for my first installment of "strange bathroom chatter"!

Mother: Hurry up honey, mommy has to go REAL bad.
Daughter: Kay momma. Hey! look how yellow it is. The mailman's was green. And the firemans was orange. Mine is so yellow! Why was their's different?
Mother: Food coloring baby, now hurry up, mommy REALLY has to go...
Woman: (on cell phone, in stall) Hello?? You're fuckin calling me now? Look, I'm...I'm taking a shit. You're annoying the hell outta me. What? I dunno. Whitehouse or something. I'm hanging up.
Woman #1: (opening bathroom door) Hello?
Woman #2 (ironic funny pun in there somewhere): Yes, I'm here.
Woman #1: Things moving along okay in there?
Woman #2: Yea, slowly but surely

Teen Girl #1: Sarah, oh my god. I'm locked in!
Teen Girl #2: Um..well hold on, I'm almost done.
Teen Girl #1: (frantically jiggling lock) Ooohhh my ggooooooddd! Noooo....I'm stuuuuucck!
Teen Girl #2: Just hold on! It's no big deal.
Teen Girl #1: That's it. I'm crawling. I can fit...

Dad: (from outside bathroom door) Madison? Be sure to untie her pants.
Madison: Ew Daddy, the strings are sticky.

More to come!

1 comment:

  1. I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only one who enjoys the random conversations they hear while doing time in various bathrooms. I'm enjoying your blog and look forward to more!