Monday, December 31, 2012


so I am breaking my little unwritten rule and posting on Rebecca's blog. there have been alot of 1st's this year for me. most are obvious. some are very private. As milestones go, new year's eve has always been  a time of melancholy...a time of consideration of what has gone on...painful analysis of where one is in their life. what something has meant, an event, a memory...and how the course of one's life may change as a result of something that has happened in the past year. it is a time to formulate a new plan. it is good to have a framework so long as you don't hold it too tight. because you never know what is to happen.
we all have our private pain...our sad story. everyone's sad story impacts them profoundly. some people's sad story impacts others as well. sometimes competition develops. who was a better friend. who mourns more. who remembers better. but time passes and memories fade. I don't know how I feel about that. so 2013 will be the 1st year in 31 yrs that Rebecca was not on this earth. the world is a worse place for that absence. I miss you more than I can say,