Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Professional Bathroom Critic....

Since being diagnosed with an affliction of the colon, I've developed quite the complex relationship with bathrooms, PUBLIC bathrooms, to be exact. I've never really had a fondness for public bathrooms (though, to be fair, I don't exactly know anyone who does). Particularly, I have an intense dislike of actually touching anything in a public bathroom if I can help it. (which includes such famous practices as "hovering" and the "kick-flush").
That intense dislike has grown to a certain dread now that I am a slave to my intestines. I very literally plan my day around knowing where I can access a 'decent' public bathrooms and at what times I'll be needing to do that. When that planning is done for my own home-city, its not too much of a problem. But when I'm in unfamiliar territory (say...vacation) that is a pretty daunting, if not damn near impossible task.
So I've often joked that it'd be great to just travel around and document, for people like myself, where the best (and worst) public bathrooms are. Maybe even create a little guide book to take along with you. It could be quite the lucrative business considering how many people suffer from Ulcerative Colitis, Crohns, IBS, Colon Cancer, or even just good ol' fashioned weak stomachs. I know I for one would pay for that information, in order to better enjoy my daytrips and vacations.
Well, I actually did start to 'document' my bathroom experiences. I was mostly being silly...but I found this little video from my trip to Eastern Europe earlier in the year that I fully intended to upload but couldn't manage to do it from overseas, and by the time I got back to the states had forgotten about it. Unfortunately, may camera cut off midway before I got to go into detail about this place, but nonetheless, enjoy the first installment of your new friend, The bathroom critic:

4 comments:

  1. I think it would make a great book.

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  2. Too funny!

    Someone has beat you to it, though... but perhaps it will help with your vacation planning:

    http://www.thebathroomdiaries.com/
    http://www.mizpee.com/mizpeeweb/welcome.do
    and
    http://www.sitorsquat.com/sitorsquat/
    (which, also has an app for the iPhone and Blackberry)

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  3. You crack me up. I will so subscribe to your bathroom critics. :)


    (and side note you have a miraculous way of putting a smile on my face and humbling me all the same time. You are in my thoughts daily. Is that creepy? :) )

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  4. Oh man! Thanks Jordan...I vaguely knew there was something along those lines out there, I think my friend Rodney had linked me to one of those sites a couple years. I just didnt' think (at the time) it was all that extensive. :)

    Steph, no way man...I figure we FAP'ers must have some sorta sixth sense of each other (maybe like twins? but...of the guts?? heh...now THAT sounded creepy...)

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