tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217401382021623218.post4616702737088626753..comments2023-11-02T04:41:00.141-07:00Comments on I am NOT an asshole. Surgically Speaking.: to jared (feb 2011)Beccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00068323045390841989noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217401382021623218.post-7956691665073966302014-07-24T13:02:48.637-07:002014-07-24T13:02:48.637-07:00And here is the actual email I sent... because it ...And here is the actual email I sent... because it belongs to everyone now.<br /><br />"Honey, I'm at a loss for words.<br />The choices you have in front of you are literally unimaginable to me. <br />You are a force to be reckoned with, but so is Cancer and I know how long this battle has been and how tired you must be.<br />Most of me wants to scream 'Fight on!!' at the top of my lungs- but I also know that a bearable quality of life is something we all have to determine for ourselves at some point in our lives...<br />it makes me want to sob out of sheer desperation.<br />I believe in miracles. I have seen them happen- shit, you already ARE a miracle. But I also had a dear dear friend Max ( who I think I told you about ) who lost his battle with Cancer. His fight was brief because it was so advanced but at the end he stopped fighting and was able to gain a little weight and a little of his spirit back enough to have a goodbye party at his house. It was beautiful, horrible and wonderful and he amused us all with his humor and energy. That was his choice- there were a few options left on the table but he left them there.<br />I don't think there's a more personal decision in the world than what you're going through and though I would do ANYTHING to know you were in the world for another year, month, day- you will end up doing what's best for you and I support you one hundred percent.<br />I love you Becca Babcock- you are incredible and if I'd known all those years ago how much of an impact that little 'cynnycal' on capoeira.com was going to have on me and so many others, I would have jumped on a plane right then and there. I will start saving today for a plane ticket.<br />Keep in touch ok?<br />love jared<br /><br />Here's a piece by my favorite poet- Mary Oliver<br /><br />The Summer Day <br /><br />Who made the world? <br />Who made the swan, and the black bear? <br />Who made the grasshopper? <br />This grasshopper, I mean-- <br />the one who has flung herself out of the grass, <br />the one who is eating sugar out of my hand, <br />who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-- <br />who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes. <br />Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face. <br />Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away. <br />I don't know exactly what a prayer is. <br />I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down <br />into the grass, how to kneel in the grass, <br />how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields, <br />which is what I have been doing all day. <br />Tell me, what else should I have done? <br />Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon? <br />Tell me, what is is you plan to do <br />With your one wild and precious life? <br /><br /><br />Mary OliverJaredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07850825588916670142noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217401382021623218.post-79644515055456047352014-07-24T12:57:43.837-07:002014-07-24T12:57:43.837-07:00I just saw this years later and it means as much t...I just saw this years later and it means as much to me now as it did then. I miss her dearly. We had many funny and loving exchanges before and after this but this stands out among them. I love you Becca, always.Jaredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07850825588916670142noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217401382021623218.post-22471479968866770102012-05-29T13:11:44.539-07:002012-05-29T13:11:44.539-07:00Thank you for posting this entry. I have read it a...Thank you for posting this entry. I have read it at least 10 times since it's been up. That poem... there are no words.alenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09985174816280745272noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3217401382021623218.post-79524816326003001512012-05-23T22:55:43.509-07:002012-05-23T22:55:43.509-07:00I miss you so much! . . . your parting has left me...I miss you so much! . . . your parting has left me with a HUGE void in my heart and though we never met in person, you were such a big part of my life. I love you so much Bec . . . and miss you in ways that I can't even begin to understand. I am so fucken pissed at life, I am angry, hurt and sad . . . and I complaint to God quite a lot. Why you? Why you? I cannot answer that . . . Heck! I even understand it . . . all I know is you're not here . . . all I feel is the pain your departure left me with . . . and all that gives me hope is your undeniably amazing spirit . . . the fighter in you . . . the inspiration your life was to many of us and the words you left me with. I want you to know that you meant HELLA much to me and even in death, you still continue to inspire me, to support me . . . to give me hope!. I freaking love ya, girl! <br /><br />Ani Eos.-Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15759157974967437427noreply@blogger.com